I know you won’t see this but I have to talk about it so I can get it off my chest. Firstly, I miss you so much. Not a day goes by where there’s not something that reminds me of you. Whether it’s a reference to a game or movie we saw, something that happened at work, seeing a person that looks like you, smelling your cologne, a random memory replaying in my head, etc. You’re always on my mind. I’m always wondering if you’re okay, if everything’s going well recently, or if you miss me too, or if I even cross your mind. Secondly, when you posted anonymously about me last month, that post really hurt me. You tried so say we weren’t on the same page in our relationship and that you felt alone. How were we not on the same page? We both wanted to be together forever. And you said you felt alone because I wouldn’t go to you with my problems. But that was because I was always trying to help you with your problems and protect you from mine. It hurt me how you spun it to make it seem like I never loved you, when that’s all I ever did. When you would break down crying I was there to hold you. How can you say you don’t think you were what I wanted? When you would get insecure and jealous about stuff I would reassure you. Why would I go through all that stress if I didn’t want you? Also in other posts you were acting like you missed me so much, but I was always the one to reach out to you after the breakup. I don’t think that’s fair. I pulled away because my life was crashing down, and instead of supporting me like I always did for you (even in times when you pushed me away), you took the easy way out and held the door open for me to leave. I’m still hurt about that. And even though I’m hurt, I still love the hell out of you and want the best for you. Even though you lied and said you would always be there for me and support me, I still wish the best for you. Sometimes I wish I didn’t. I wish I could just forget you and move on. But I’m always just worrying about you and how you’re dealing with the breakup. Hoping your holding up and finding happiness. I’ve been hurt so many times in the past, and I really thought you were different. You were supposed to be the sweet guy. The harmless guy. The guy I put down my walls for. But instead you saw me hurting and left me there to suffer alone. I hope in the future when you’re dating someone else you don’t see walls as a barrier and instead see them as something to try to climb over. Even if someone doesn’t tell you what they’re going through, sometimes just being present is all they need. That’s all I needed and you weren’t there. What confuses me is that you withhold things too. It takes a while for you to even reveal what’s wrong, so it’s crazy to me that you don’t know how to deal with people that do the same thing to you. I hope that’s something that you work on in the future. As for me I will learn to try to be more vulnerable with my future partner. Let them in and be less scared of getting hurt. Although I’ve never found anyone who hasn’t hurt me, and I don’t think I ever will, I hope to find someone who at least doesn’t hurt me with mal intent. Someone who is flawed like I am, but who is self aware enough to want to work on it. I wish you the best, and all the happiness in the world.