You are not fucked up honey To hate someone you still need to care about them, maybe there is a third way, your yet not awere off. The person youre missing is no longer here. The time that separates you from them has surely blurred the outlines both of yours figures; all that remains are memories. If you were to meet again, you would have to get to know a complete stranger but with familiar eyes. Don't hate the person you once knew, but accept that this particular person will remain in the past forever and that any possible reunion will be a new first. And who you might meet will be somone completly mismatched. Don’t indulge with those Coping skill i know how that it might seem impossible and pointless but try to stay busy, make some new meaningful connections. Take care, you seam very young it will all turn out okay. And if nothing else works out screw that loser who made you feel this way and hate them with all you might

I appreciate you for saying that. Thank you so much I mean that💛