I need an honest opinion ,So there is this boy I fell in love with before 4 years in high school (still love him till now) anyway it's a seperated long story ,in my year of graduation I discovered that my closest freind my seatmate loves him too and she actually hided that for 2 years from me I discovered that by finding her following his Instagram account ,while I didn't even follow him that time,anyway i was so shocked cuz I was super in love with him and I used to tell her everything about how I feel but she never spoke a thing about her feelings for him. So I lost trust in her and I just didn't want to be her freind anymore ,the girls in our freind group there was another 2 girls ,they stood on her side I mean they told me I should forgive her cuz she was scared to tell me ,I told them i forgive her I just can't be freinds anymore I'm not comfortable but one from those two freinds started telling me things like he doesn't even love u let her love him it's normal that she didn't tell u and that she can picture them together cuz they both introvert and match energy but not me cuz I'm too yapping and not that calm ,and she was really laughing saying that I felt hurt but I didn't tell her so high school ended and I kept on avoiding her in messages when she text me I just find excuses to not meet until after 4 months I changed all my account and just never texted her anymore ,she was left as followes on my tik tok but she couldn't send a message cuz I closed my dm then after 3 months I deleted taht account too now after more than a year I kinda feel guilty that I left her that way ,what do u think?, oh also about my bsf who loved my crush I apologized to her after a year and told her that she can have the feelings she want I just couldn't be freinds again and that sorry if I hurt her when I was hurt, but now the other freind I start to doubt what I did